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When Am I Ready For Dating After Divorce?

by Kelly
(Ontario)

My divorce was final 6 months ago. My sister's pressuring me to begin relationships after divorce. I'm not sure I'm ready yet. I read through a lot of the articles on this site, and feel even more sure that I'm not. I'm still really angry at my ex-husband and don't really feel settled yet in our new home. Plus, I worry about how my kids might react.

I was just wondering if someone else might be able to share how they knew they were ready. I don't want to rush things, but don't want to wind up feeling like an "old maid" either!

Thanks for any of your suggestions!

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When Am I Ready For Dating After Divorce?

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Nov 12, 2009
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starstarstarstar 		Here's what worked for me
by: Ben

I had a hard time with dating after divorce too. This is from a guy's perspective so it may be different. I began dating women while I was waiting for my divorce to be finalized because I felt a lot of pressure from friends and because I was lonely.

I look back on that and shake my head realizing how dumb it was. I was still reeling from my marriage falling apart. Every woman I went out with, didn't match up to what my wife had been.

It's like I was carrying this grading card with me on every date. "She's better looking thaN my ex, but she isn't as smart." "She's really funny but she doesn't have pretty brown eyes, like my ex."

None of those women had a chance. Once I realized this, I stopped dating for awhile and focused more on my kids. I can't say that anything magical happened or that I did one specific thing. But one day, I met someone and while we were on a date, I realized I hadn't compared her once to my ex. I was enjoying her for who she was.

That's when I knew I was really ready to date people and enjoy it.

Good luck.

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