Single Parent Dating & Relationships After Divorce - You Aren't to Blame for This One

As you begin thinking about single parent dating and relationships after divorce, there are new aspects to think about this go 'round with dating. One of those has to do with your kids. How will they react to your dating?

I thought we'd take a look at a big determining factor regarding their reaction to it. Unfortunately, you don't have a lot of control over this one. This factor has to do with how involved your children's other parent is.

If you and your ex have remained actively involved in your childrens' lives this will bode well for you when it comes time to date and be in relationships after divorce. One of the main concerns children have when their parents begin dating is a fear of abandonment.

It's typical for kids to worry that a new person might replace them as the apple of your eye. If they've already experienced one parent backing out of their lives it makes this fear doubly strong when you begin single parent dating. Think about it, you're all they've got. What happens if you disappear? What are they left with then?

So if you aren't to blame for this factor, what can you do with it? Focus on what you do have control over.

First, make sure you don't start single parent dating too soon. Dating might sound like a good idea because you aren't getting much of a break from the kids. Having another person around might lighten the load a bit. This is the wrong motivation for relationships after divorce though. You run the risk of just settling and find yourself with a less than ideal suitor.

It also means letting your children know it's ok for them to talk about those fears with you. It does not mean bad mouthing their other parent. That won't make them feel better. It just lets them know you aren't a safe person to talk to about this.

Finally, once you do begin relationships after divorce, take it slow. Be careful not to get caught up in a whirlwind romance that consumes you and your time. You aren't just a single person you're also a parent.

Learn more about single parent dating and relationships after divorce with our Tip of the Week. Enjoy a free copy of the audio, "What's Unique About Step Families?" upon your subscription.

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