I'm So Sad or Downright Depressed After Your Divorce? It's Up To You

"I'm so sad" feelings after divorce can feel overwhelming at times. So many things change in such a short amount of time that it can be difficult to focus on all of them, let alone feel like you're coping with divorce. After the debris has settled though, continuing to wallow in those "I'm so sad" thoughts won't help you pick up the pieces and move forward.

Let's focus on why these thoughts don't help soothe the wounded spirit of a divorced parent, but instead cause you to you to use poor judgement at a time when you need to be making a lot of important decisions.

Daily responsibilities aren't handled well - When these feelings linger too long, you put yourself at risk of becoming depressedn. Most people sufferring from depression experience sleep problems, irritability and a lack of desire to do anything. All of those create a recipe for disaster with daily living. You may find yourself not paying bills on time, taking off of work to sleep, crying or just vegging out watching hours and hours of TV. This is a slippery slope that leads to a pit that's very hard to climb out of.

You aren't able to be there emotionally for your children - If you're in the depths of "I'm so sad" despair over your own losses, that leaves little room for you to help your children adjust to their own losses. Your kids need you. They need to know you'll be there to hold them when they cry. Is it ok for you to cry right along with them? Sure it is. But you have to be able to distance yourself enough from your own thoughts of pain in order to be able to tune into theirs.

You can wind up in a really lousy relationship - If the "I'm so sad" feelings cause you to seek out comfort from any source, you won't be as discerning as you might generally be. This can lead to a potentially unhealthy relationship. Rather than comfort, this leads to more headaches and problems. You are in no shape to be in another relationship when you're still grieving over your divorce. Not to mention the way your kids will feel about a new "companion" when they're still reeling from the fresh divorce.

Pay attention to these warning signs. Take a good hard look at where you are right now. Is it a good place or are you sliding down?

Do you have a right to feel miserable and overwhelmed for awhile? Sure you do! When despair becomes a habit over a period of time and it begins affecting those around you, then you need to take steps to move forward.

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