Remarriage with Children:
Enjoy the Journey

You've got a lot going on if you're in a remarriage with children. There's no denying this. It's really easy to get caught up in all the chaos and quickly become dissatisfied. I want to share a little story to perk you back up:

My family visited St. Louis last weekend. If you've been there, you know no trip is complete without traveling to the top of the Gateway Arch. My children couldn't wait to go to "The Arch" on our last day there. But it's quite a long, drawn out event to get up there. You have to wait for your tour time. Then you have to wait in line to get near the tram cars. Then you have to wait some more to get in the tram car to travel up. While you're waiting there's a video that tells you the trip takes 4 minutes going up and 3 1/2 coming down.

We finally got our turn, jumped into the tram and waited expectantly to get to the top. Once there, my kids took a quick look out the windows and pronounced that they were ready to head down. "Head down!" I said shocked. It's a week later now and what do they talk about? The beautiful view? The fear of having nothing under you but a floor and then a 630 foot drop? No! All they talk about are the tram rides.

It's only now that I realize I'd been so busy focusing on getting to the destination, that I missed the real fun - the journey.

This happens all the time in a remarriage with children. You get remarried and can't wait to have a "family" again. Unfortunately, what frequently happens is that couples are completely blindsided by how things don't go smoothly in this family.

• Everyone isn't excited about being a family.
• People may not even like each other.

This is when everyone starts becoming very disillusioned and begins to think there's something wrong with this family. It's not acting like the previous one you were a part of. Parents start questioning whether they've made a huge mistake by creating this remarriage with children and may even begin thinking re-divorce.

If all you do is focus on what's wrong right now, you miss out on a lot of really cool times. On my way down in the tram, I looked out the window and saw all kinds of neat sites inside the Arch that I'd missed on the way up.

The same works for you. Keep your eyes open for those times when your family life is calm - even if it's for a few moments. Those sightings are what will let you know you're heading in the right direction and aren't lost.

While the journey in a remarriage with children may be long and perilous, there's a rich and satisfying destination for those brave enough to remain on the path.

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