Remarriage with Children:
The Realities of Instant Family

One change couples often overlook when they're preparing for remarriage with children is the "instant" family. This is a little different than the creation of your first family. The typical route is: couple meets - couple marries - couple decides to have kids.

This scenario allows the couple time to get to know one another, and be sure that their marriage is strong before adding the stress of children. This isn't an option in a remarriage with children. The children come as part of the wedding package.

The "honeymoon" period, or possibly even the honeymoon - for that fact - isn't a possibility. After the "I Do's" are shared, real life kicks in at it's frenetic pace. Work and school schedules are still there, but now you have the after school activities of all the kids. All of these pull time away from you as a couple.

This is why it's so important that as a couple, you prepare for your remarriage with children well before the wedding. You need to decide:

• How you're going to make time for each other to nourish your marriage.
• How you're going to handle the needs of the children (not just their activities and homework, but their need for time with you)
• How you're going to be able to have time for yourself to recharge.

If you're ready to continue that preparation process, I've got two suggestions for you: The first is to join our Tip of the Week newsletter. In addition to your Tip, you'll receive a free copy of our audio, "What's Unique About Step Families?"


Secondly, if you have a pre marriage question, feel free to post it in our Pre Marriage Help Line.

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