Remarriage with Children:
Using Supports to Stay Strong
Marriages don't happen in a vacuum. Any marriage is hard, but when you throw in the
"instant family" aspect of a remarriage with children,
sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Rather than focus on a problem, I want to focus on keeping your marriage strong.
One of the most vital steps you and your spouse can do in order to have a
strong, viable marriage
is to make sure you have good supports.
What do I mean by this? Well, let's dig in...
People who've been married longer than you - I like to refer to these people as the "sages." They may also fall into one of the other categories we'll discuss. These are people who've lived through a lot and can give you solid wisdom about concerns your remarriage with children is going through.
Couple friends - It's helpful if you are able to cultivate friendships with other couples.
You need to have adult, couple time.
You can share life together by realizing your strengths as a couple compared to others. You will see yours is not the only relationship that has rough spots. These friends can also be accountability partners if you've known them long enough. They can see how you interact with your spouse and compliment the good things and call you on the not so good.
Personal friends - Having friends of your own to hang out with is essential for all of us. You may not be able to get together as frequently as you did in the past, but you need time for just you and your friends without your spouse. These are probably people who've known you longer than your spouse - you share a history with them. It's important to keep those relationship alive even after you remarry.
God - Finally, and most importantly allow God into your marriage as the third partner. He will always offer the best advice and be the best listener. There is a strength in couples who share their faith. Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken."
So take stock of those who are in your life. Who falls into these categories? How can you lean on those people for support. Support is something that needs to always be present, not just during difficult times. Use that support to
strengthen your remarriage
with children and help it weather any storms that may come your way in the future.
Additional Remarriage with Children Articles:
This is the Foundation for a Successful Marriage
Should I Focus on Quantity or Quality?
What's Your Definition of Family Success?
Your Remarriage = The Weakest Link
How Do I Juggle It All In My Step Family?
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