Relationships After Divorce
Finding Your Path to "Happily Ever After"

Being in relationships after divorce isn't something most people dream about on their wedding date. Those dreams are usually full of a life spent together, having and raising children and other "happily ever after" fantasies. Being a divorced parent rarely falls into a "happily ever after" fantasy category. But it's a reality and it does happen. If you find yourself in that position, while it can be painful, it doesn't mean there's no "happily ever after" for you. It just means, you'll have to take a different path than you'd originally planned to reach it.

The road leading to that new path is called "moving on." You must take that road in order to begin your new journey toward relationships after divorce. While bumpy, rugged, and full of twists and turns, it's a road everyone must travel whether those relationships after divorce are romantic or not. There's no short cut or way to avoid it. But how will you know when you've reached the end of this road? One landmark to look for is that you are now:

Looking forward instead of back

What does this mean? Well, let's take a look:

• You're becoming more confident in your single parenting abilities and aren't always dreading parenting alone.
• You're starting to see your ex wife or ex-husband more as your children's other parent rather than your ex spouse. The divorce anger has died down. You don't think of them so much as your former spouse, because you've accepted that part of your life is over. As a result you're beginning to feel more hopeful about your new life and the new relationships after divorce that lie ahead of you.
• At this point you no longer have any reconciliation fantasies. You've accepted that the marriage is over and there's no going back on that decision. Whether you initiated the divorce or not, you recognize this is your new reality and instead of resenting it, you embrace it.
• You're now able to think about plans for your future. You're able to consider the possibility of a new relationship after divorce in order to enhance the new life you've embraced rather than fulfill it.

Once you've achieved these landmarks, then you'll know you're reaching the end of this "moving on" road. Soon you'll be able to find your new - "happily ever after" path.

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