Recovery from Divorce:
Tips for Moving On

Divorce still has a stigma attached to it and is treated as if it were a dirty word. Recovery from divorce is possible, but this stigma can affect how you see yourself and your future. While I repeatedly stress the importance of looking at what happened to cause your marriage to end, a divorce does not make you "damaged goods."
Part of your recovery from divorce is viewing yourself as "older and wiser." I know a lot of people don't like it when I suggest waiting 2 years after your divorce to begin seriously dating, but let's take a look at why that time is beneficial:

Older

Give yourself some time to mature. You've just spent the last several years connected to someone else. You're now on your own. Your recovery from divorce should include:

• Re-evaluating the type of relationship you want in the future.
• Taking time to discover who you are now.
• Discovering your own unique strengths and weaknesses.
• Learning how to do life independent of anyone else.
• Developing special relationships with your children.

Wiser

You've just gone through a significant life change. Some lessons have been learned, but there are more needed in order to fully move past your divorce:

• Discovering the type of parent you wish to be.
• Understanding what went wrong in your marriage.
• Spending some time getting to know yourself so you're less likely to repeat the same type of mistakes in a new relationship.
• Accepting and acknowledging your part in the death of the marriage.
• Learning what you are attracted to in a partner and whether that is healthy for you and your children now.

There's not a whole lot that can be done about the way society treats divorced parents, but you do have complete control over your own recovery from divorce.

Be careful not to rush into a new relationship so you can be labeled "married" again. Trust yourself and your ability to stand on your own two feet for awhile. That sense of accomplishment and confidence trumps that ugly divorce stigma any day!

You may be asking, "What are some other steps I can take to begin my recovery from divorce?"

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• a featured article loaded with helpful tips to effectively guide you in living beyond divorce toward a successful remarriage and step family
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Additional Articles on Divorce Recovery

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