Preparing for Marriage: What Do I Need to Consider in a Remarriage with Children?

Preparing for marriage, especially a remarriage with children, is something I stress over and over again on this site. Why? Mostly because people assume a new marriage and family will function like their previous ones. This, unfortunately isn't the case.

When that reality hits, couples are already married and families can quickly fall into turmoil. This accounts for the extremely high re- divorce rate. Today, I want to look specifically at remarriages with children.

While you may already have experience parenting, this experience doesn't carry over to your future step children. In a step family, biological relationships will naturally be stronger because they have lasted longer. With your step children, feelings of respect and love have not had a long time to develop. This is an important area to focuson on while you prepare for marriage.

Sibling rivalry is much more common in remarriage with children. If you and your fiance have significantly different parenting styles, this can become a huge battle. The kids will feel as if they're being treated differently and resentment between the kids will flourish. Preparing for marriage needs to include how the two of you will figure out merging your differing parenting styles.

What makes rivalry in step families worse is there isn't the underlying sense of love in a remarriage with children that there is with biological siblings. While they may go out of their way to bug one another, biological siblings will also stick up for their brother or sister when push comes to shove. Step families do not have this type of bond in the beginning. So this means step siblings are more likely to just lash out and purposely try to hurt one another.

Taking time to prepare for your remarriage with children will allow you to figure out and work through some of these hot spots and increase the peace in your new family. The more peaceful the new family, the more likely your marriage is to succeed.

You may be asking, "What are some other areas to consider when preparing for marriage?" There are two answers: education and support. You'll find both of those with me, here at Remarriage Success. Take your time. Look around and you'll find hundreds of articles created with you in mind.

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