Preparing for Marriage: Healthy Relationship Tips for Remarriage
Is Love Enough?
Over 60% of remarriages end in a re- divorce. Just let that one sink in a minute. It's a scary statistic. If you're like most people, you just read that and thought, "Yeah, but that's not us."
Let me stop you right there. If you're preparing for marriage again, it is you! The reality is this health relationship tip: you run a higher likelihood of getting a divorce than of having a successful remarriage.
I don't mean to sound real negative. I just want to make sure you're being realistic when it comes to preparing for marriage. Living in a fantasy world of denial doesn't help you
prepare for the challenges that await you.
I always ask my coaching clients, "Why are you wanting to get remarried?" I know I'm in trouble when they look at each other, giggle and say with a swoon, "Because we're in love!" My usual response to that is a quick, "Ok, why else?"
Don't get me wrong, love is important. But if that's your main motivation, here's a healthy relationship tip: you've got a long road ahead of you. Love is a great feeling. It produces highs as great as any street drug around. But just like a drug, you do come down from that high and have to face reality.
Today I want us to focus on 3 important healthy relationship tips that will point out why you can't just focus on love and ignore the work involved in preparing for marriage?
Romantic love is an emotion
Most movies focus on this emotion as the ultimate goal to any relationship. What you aren't told is that this romantic love high usually only lasts for about 18 months.
After that, one of two things happen:
- Your relationship tends to fade into oblivion.
- The emotions mature into a stable, long-term love.
This intensity change comes as a shock to a lot of newlyweds who didn't adequately take time to prepare for marriage. This is when the dreaded, "I love, but I'm not 'in love'" comes out of people's mouths.
The relationship is immature at this point
Because you're both still focused on the "oohs & aahs", you may not be able to clearly look at the challenges that are in store for you with a remarriage and
creation of a step family.
It takes time for a relationship to mature into one that will stick together through screaming children (who are not your own), pressure from ex spouses, and other family and friends who aren't real thrilled about you being the new spouse.
Love does not equal compatability
This healthy relationship tip is crucial - just because a strong chemical reaction happens when you're around each other, doesn't mean that you can live together and create a successful life with one another. Compatibility has to do with being able to get along, compromise, and have similar lifestyles.
I believe it's because of that 18 month rule,(mentioned ealier) that research has shown time and time again that couples who
date at least 2 years in preparing for marriage have the greatest success.
I urge you, to slow things down a bit. This may be the person you've been waiting for. If it is, then there's no reason to rush to the altar, they're going to be there even if you both take the time to adequately work through these
healthy relationship tips
to prepare for marriage and life together.
The creation of a successful remarriage doesn't just happen by chance. It takes hard work, and good preparation. If you're looking for other steps to take in preparing for marriage, I want to encourage you to get more
education
and
support
with me, here at Remarriage Success. Take your time. Look around and you'll find hundreds of articles created with you in mind.
Additional Remarriage with Children Articles:
Why Should I Prepare if I've Been Married Before?
Don't Re-Do Your I Do Before You Read This
Why Wait This Time? Here's Why...
Why Do We Need to Prepare This Time?
What Do I Need to Consider w/the Kids & My Remarriage?
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