Article on Parenting Styles: Divorced Parents' Rules Don't Have to be the Same

This article on parenting styles reviews how different parenting ideas in a co parenting situation can be one of the toughest adjustments to make after a divorce. What is co parenting? Well, it's developing a way that you and your ex wife or ex-husband can work together in parenting your mutual children. Just because you aren't married anymore, doesn't mean you aren't Johnny or Mary's parents.
A great rule of thumb in child custody agreements is to remember that the rules in your separate households don't have to be identical. A lot of divorced parents get too caught up in this battle of the rules. It gets turned into another marital argument even though you're no longer married.

Accepting the fact that you have no control over what happens at the other parent's house (outside of blatantly abusive behaviors) is a very difficult concept for many divorced parents to grasp. But, the sooner you do, the better.

So, if the rules don't have to be identical, how do you work together without confusing your child? The compromise is to agree on overall parenting themes.

For example, doing well in school is a theme. One of you may make the rule that your children are to do their homework as soon as they get home from school and then they can play. The other parent may disagree with this, and allow the kids to play and after dinner work on homework. The main issue here is not the when. The main issue is that the homework needs to get done. Both of you, are making sure that happens using your own parenting style to go about it.

I encourage you to stop and think before you react to a rule your ex wife or ex-husband's house. I encourage you in this article on parenting styles, not to focus so much on it being different from what you'd do. Focus instead, on what the overall goal is. Is that goal ultimately being achieved with the rule your ex is using? If so, let it go!

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