Article on Parenting Styles: Differences
Aren't An Excuse To Bash Your Ex

This article on parenting styles focuses on how patience is required when there are differences between divorced parents. There's no getting around it.

Here's this person you've divorced, and probably want to have little to no contact with, but unfortunately it's not an option. You have children together and you have to be in some sort of contact with them due to your child custody agreement and in order to effectively co-parent your children.

It's an uncomfortable situation at best. First and foremost, you need to accept the fact that even though you're divorced, your children still have 2 parents. Unless that other parent has chosen to check out, you're not raising these kids on your own.

In this article on parenting styles, I recognize you have your own household but like it or not, your ex wife or ex-husband does have influence in your kids' lives. A very important strategy to help you work together is to choose not to bad mouth the other parent in front of your children.

While you may find your ex detestable, he/she is still the father or mother of your children. Your kids love them. Nothing has changed for them.

Sharing your dislike for your ex is something to be done with friends, out of ear shot of your children. There is never a situation where sharing such thoughts with your children is a good idea. They aren't your confidantes or sounding boards. They are your children - even when they are adults. While speaking negatively of your ex, may feel good at the time, all it does is hurt your children to hear such things.

If you've been able to find creative ways of coping with divorce anger, I want to invite you to share your own letting go of anger success stories.

Has your ex hurt you? Possibly. But I encourage you to find healthy ways to deal with that hurt.

Now in this article on parenting styles, I'm not saying you have to agree with everything your ex wife or ex-husband says or does. What I am saying is to be careful about what you say in front of the kids.

I want to emphasize in this article on parenting styles, that if you disagree on things then make sure it's a big enough deal and take it up with your ex. If you disagree with something outside of the parenting realm, then I hate to tell you, but it's out of your sphere of influence. In these cases you've got to find a way to let it go. Ranting and raving at your ex spouse isn't part of that letting go process.

Not only does this hurt your children, it will damage your ability to co-parent. Inevitably your ex will learn what you're doing. They will become resentful, and less willing to cooperate with you when it comes to issues dealing with the kids and the coparenting.

Finally, bashing your ex is not a good idea for you either. While it may feel good at the time to "vent" about what a jerk your ex wife or ex-husband is, you're just fueling the flames of divorce anger that need to be let go. Just venting doesn't always accomplish that. Instead, I encourage you to learn more effective ways of managing that anger.

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