I'm So Lonely After Divorce:
4 Ways to Move on

Many divorced parents find themselves saying "I'm so lonely." These types of feelings after a divorce can seem overwhelming, even if you were the one who initiated the divorce. You've spent the last few years as a member of a couple. Now you're going solo.

Rather than just slap the band-aid of a new relationship on, it's really important to learn to accept those "I'm so lonely" feelings. If your plan is to eventually remarry well, your goal will be to find yourself in a relationship because you choose to be rather than because you need a breathing body beside you to feel complete.

Let's take a look at some of the best ways for divorced parents move beyond that "I'm so lonely" feeling. Taking these steps will help you feel more in control over the choice to be in a future relationship.

1. Make new friends who identify you as single, rather than _____'s ex wife or ex-husband - You want to surround yourself with people who like you for who you are. I'm not suggesting dropping all of your old friends. Just be careful to not discuss your ex with those old friends every time you get together. It might be tempting to verbally bash or gossip about him/her. The problem with that is that it holds you back. You're still focused on the past - not your current life and your future.

2. Find support - One of the best recommendations I can make to newly divorced parents is to join a divorce support group. There are lots of programs out there, but I think the absolute best is DivorceCare.

These groups allow you the opportunity to learn that you're not alone and to understand that your "I'm so lonely" feelings are normal. Another good support is your friends. They love you and want to be there for you. Now is not the time to withdraw and shut them out.

3. Pursue new hobbies - What are those things you've always wished you had time to do? What are those activities you've always thought would be fun but never tried? How can you begin to budget your time and finances to try some of these new things?

• Pamper yourself.
• Don't cram all of the week's chores in that time.

Yes, there may be some responsibilities that have to be taken care of, but don't make that the main focus.

Then, and only then are you in a good place to find a healthy relationship that's not just a replacement for the spouse you no longer have. That new person becomes a healthy addition rather than a desperate time filler.

If your goal is to achieve a remarriage success, then the process begins with you personally, before a new relationship ever occurs.

Here's a great free ecourse to help you begin that process.

I stumbled across this recently and made sure to check it out before recommending it. Susan has really great words of wisdom to offer and I think you'll really enjoy it.

I want to warn you, this is a sales page for one of Susan's ebooks, but the free ecourse is located on this same page. Just scroll down until you see the sign up box for "7 Steps To Survive a Break-up or Divorce."

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