Joint Custody: Making Your
Child Custody Agreement Smoother for Everyone

Joint custody is just another one of those things that require time to adjust to after divorce.

Being apart from your children for extended periods of time can be very difficult in the beginning . A lot of newly divorced parents become resentful of this child custody agreement and how little time they get with their children.

It's important to make sure that resentment doesn't become visible to your kids. During those times when you and your ex wife or ex-husband switch the kids for your child custody agreement, be sure to...

Keep things pleasant and civil.

If you know you aren't able to be civil, I recommend staying in the car or the house while the pick up occurs. Nobody said you have to have a conversation with your ex spouse during the actual joint custody drop off time. Letting the kids know you love them, waving and then leaving, is perfectly acceptable.

Child custody agreement details need to be worked out prior to this switch off time. If this is done, that leaves no kid business to discuss once you're at the actual drop off.

If you feel you're at a place emotionally, where you can say "hi" to your ex and that you "hope all of them have a great time", that's wonderful. It will set a good mood and start for your kids during this transition time.

This also makes it less likely that your kids will feel guilty about leaving you. Another bonus is that they won't have to fear that a fight might break out between you and their other parent while the joint custody drop off occurs.

Don't beat yourself up if you're not able to hold a conversation with your ex. It may take some time for you to work through all of the feelings you have about the divorce. Give yourself that time - don't rush it. It's much better for everyone involved if you remember the old saying, "If you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything."

You may be asking, "How can I reach a place where I can get along better with my ex-spouse?" I'd like to offer 2 answers: education and support.

You can begin to receive that education every Friday, with our Tip of the Week, along with a bonus free audio.

Do you have legal questions about joint custody? Get good family law legal advice advice at The Attorney's Forum

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