Healthy Relationship Tips: A Little Planning Goes a Long Way in a Remarriage with ChildrenYou've just told your kids you're getting remarried. So how did they react to the news? Was it what you expected? Today, let's focus on 3 healthy relationship tips to either better prepare your kids for this announcement, or help them become more comfortable with it. Healthy Relationship Tip #1: Give everyone enough time Relationships take time to grow. Don't expect your kids to build a strong emotional bond to your partner in 2 weeks or even 2 months for that matter. While you and your partner may be excited about the prospect of remarriage with children and want to make that happen as soon as the decision is made, don't forget that it's not just a wedding you're planning. There's a family that's created on that day and you need to plan for that family.
Give your kids and your partner a chance to grow in their relationship and figure out how it will work. Just like you spent time dating them to see if you were compatible, give your kids and your partner time to see what they think about one another and how their relationship is going to work. This can be hard because one or both parties may be a little hesitant or even downright resistant.
While I don't believe you have control over their relationship, I do think you have a strong influence and that needs to be exerted heavily in the beginning. If your kids haven't met your new partner yet, then spend some time thinking about how you want that first meeting to go. You want it to be a success, right? You know your kids so think about what will be a comfortable situation for them. I always stress not to do "Disney World" every time your kids and partner are around each other. What I mean by this is saving only the most exciting events for when your kids are around your partner. This sets everyone up for failure. Once you're in your remarriage with children, life is ordinary it's NOT Disney World. If the kids are used to "special" things when your partner is around they will resent the change once you're married.
If you work through these
healthy relationship tips, your announcement to marry shouldn't come as a shock
to your kids. They've had time to get to know this person and begin to feel as if they are a part of their lives. It still doesn't mean they will jump up and do a "happy dance" about the prospect of you remarrying. Don't expect too much from them, they may still be getting used to you being single and now you're going to make another change in their lives. Is that a bad thing? No. But it is another change they have to adjust to. The change into a step family.
If you're looking for other ways to
prepare for your remarriage with children
you're in the right place. My goal is to help every divorced parent achieve a remarriage & step family success! Additional Articles on Remarriage With ChildrenWhy Do We Need to Prepare This Time?Don't "Re-Do" Your "I Do" in 2nd Marriages Before You Read This What Do I Need to Consider w/the Kids & My Remarriage? How Do I Tell the Kids I'm Engaged? Why Should I Prepare if I've Been Married Before?
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