Healthy Relationship Tips:
Should I Focus on Quantity or Quality?
One of the most important healthy relationship tips for a remarriage with children is to make sure "couple time" is a priority.
When it comes to relationships, which do you think is important; carving out a quantity of time, or just to focus on quality time?
All of us got tricked a few years back when the whole "quality time" craze hit. We were deceived into thinking that as long as the time spent was good, it didn't matter how much of it occurred. Well let me tell you, that just doesn't work! You need both.
The quantity of time you spend together needs to be an amount that both members of the couple are comfortable with. Typically, women require more time with their partners than men do, but not always! Make sure that you both communicate openly with one another about how much time you need. Our individual requirements may vary from time to time as well, depending on what's going on in our lives at the time.
If you catch yourself:
- Being grumpier than usual toward your partner
- Assuming the worst about them
- Resenting other activities they are involved in
...odds are your quantity of time need isn't being met. Here's a healthy relationship tip: Share that with your partner in a loving way. Don't complain about the other things they do, but instead focus on what your needs are.
It's real easy to blow up and yell, "You're always doing ______, and never make time for me!" Saying "I'm really missing you lately, and wonder how we can change things a little so we can spend more time together" is a totally different approach.
Now let's take a look at the quality time issue. Just because you spend a lot of time together, doesn't mean you feel close. Sitting on a couch watching 2 hours of TV together doesn't necessarily increase your intimacy in a remarriage with children.
Think about things your partner has done for you in the past that really meant a lot. I don't mean the $75 dollar meal and roses afterward, or the surprise tickets to your favorite team's game. Think about the everyday things.
- Cooking together
- Sending e-mails in the middle of the day to say "hi"
- That little note you found
Those are the little quiet moments that draw couples closer together and create a history all their own. Again, I caution you to be careful in discussing this with your partner. Focus on your needs again, don't just point out what they aren't doing.
Remember
the point of all of these healthy relationship tips is is to draw you closer to your partner
while continuing to strengthen your remmariage with children. The sooner you get into these patterns, the sooner your marriage becomes stronger.
With a step family you're juggling a lot: kids, ex's, and everyday responsibilities. All of these will be pulling you in different directions. If you don't get these important
healthy relationship tips
in place, you'll just be adding another stressor into the mix - a bad marriage.
All of us want a happy marriage. If you've gone through a divorce before, you may feel even more pressure to "do it right this time." Why try to do this alone and blind? We're here to support you. I encourage you to continue looking around and feel free to read as many of our articles as you like and take some time to
ask any burning questions you may have.
Additional Healthy Relationship Tips Articles:
Blended Family Problems to Avoid
Step Families: This is the Foundation for Success
Make Your Marriage Stronger with This
Your Remarriage = The Weakest Link
How Do I Juggle It All In My Remarriage with Children?
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