Ex Not Paying Child Support On Time

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Ex Not Paying Child Support On Time - Do I Tell My Kids?

by lynn
(canada)

My ex husband refuses to pay his child support payments on time. Even though I am going through Maintenance Enforcement (in Canada-I don't know if you have the same thing in the US), he is refusing to pay on time and is allowed to do this as there are loopholes in the legislation that allows this as long as they pay before the next payment is due.

My kids are 14 and 17 (both girls). This puts a great strain on me as 2/3 of my budget comes from these payments and there are times that I do not have money in the bank to pay the bills or even give money to the kids for things they need until I get the support payments.

He keeps telling the kids that I have lots of money and that I am just being selfish with it and that he has to give me lots of money. He has also been taking me to court claiming that I am lying about the arrears that he is in and I have had to pay a lawyer a great deal of money to defend myself and prove that I wasn't lying (which by the way was proven in court).

I was awarded some costs by the court but it didn't even cover 1/2 of the lawyer bill and he has yet to pay what was awarded to me or a dime of the arrears. We are talking thousands of dollars here.

I now have to come up with the money to pay my lawyer as well as the other bills that I have. I would have much rather had that money to spend on my kids.

How do I or should I tell the kids what is going on?

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Ex Not Paying Child Support On Time - Do I Tell My Kids?

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Nov 20, 2009
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What to do with the kids...
by: Alyssa

Hi Lynn and thanks for posting:

This situation stinks! There's no other way to say it.

I would not recommend telling your kids about it though. It's not info they need to know and will just cause them to feel they are in the middle. This is an issue between you and your ex. It AFFECTS your girls but they aren't a part of it.

The reality is $ is tight. It's ok to let them know that. "I can't buy that shirt for you right now. I don't have the $." But don't take it to the next level, "If your father would pay like he's supposed to, I could afford it."

If they make comments about the things he's said - you have a lot of $ and he's paying you a lot - you don't have to defend yourself. Instead, a calm, "I disagree with the way your father describes the situation" is enough.

I would caution you though to take a hard look at your budget. If your oldest dau is 17, you won't be getting support from your ex for too much longer for her. Now is the time to look at where cuts can be made. I know that may sound insane because $ is so tight right now, but give it a try.

I hope that helps & best wishes!

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Ex Not Paying Child Support On Time - Do I Tell My Kids?

Comments for Ex Not Paying Child Support On Time - Do I Tell My Kids?

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Ex Not Paying Child Support On Time - Do I Tell My Kids?