Finding Love Again by Dating After Divorce: Your First Steps to a Great Date

You may have noticed that finding love again by dating after divorce is quite a bit different from the last time you were out there. You have a bit more baggage to carry around with you this time. For starters, there probably weren't children in the equation last time. Then you've got all the feelings about your marriage ending.

It's important to be very clear about what you're looking for once you make up your mind to go dating after divorce. Just finding the time to go on a date may be quite an event so don't waste it. Doing some prep work is your best bet. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Make sure you're ready - Don't start dating after divorce just because your friends and family are pressuring you to begin "finding love again." Make sure you're on your own time schedule. The last thing you want to do is wind up sobbing during the middle of dinner with your date because all you can think of is your ex wife or ex-husband.

Instead, utilize technology available to you. Spend some time talking on the phone or emailing to get to know one another a little. These steps can save you precious time and money if you realize within the first conversation that you don't click.

3. Know who you're looking for and why - A mistake alot of divorced parents make when finding love again, is purposely looking for the complete opposite of their ex when they start dating after divorce. In an attempt to protect themselves from experiencing pain similar to their divorce, they assume the exact opposite will keep them safe. Not true.

That was one experience with one person. Don't assume that all blond women are cheaters or all men who work in human resources will wind up leaving you.

5. Stick to your non-negotiables - no matter what - There are traits we look for in dating partners that are non-negotiable. For example if your faith is important to you, you may require that anyone you are in a relationship has the same faith and values as you.

Too many times, divorced parents get so desperate to be in a relationship, they push those non-negotiables to the side just for the sake of going on a date after divorce. What happens is you aren't true to who you authentically are.

Dating after divorce is supposed to be fun, right? So do some prep work and then enjoy yourself. Even if it's a lousy date, there's the potential you can laugh about how silly it was with friends tomorrow.

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