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Co Parenting for Divorced Parents:
What Is Coparenting & How Does It Work?

Co parenting is a term used to describe divorced parents parenting their children together even though they're in different households. There are many ways this can be done. I will not attempt to go into the exact details because everyone parents their children differently.

What I will tell you though, is that the more conflict there is between your house and your ex spouse’s, the more difficult coparenting will be.

It's in your children’s best interest for their divorced parents to learn how to get along as well as possible. Now, do I mean you need to be the best of friends? No! Do I mean the two of you should discuss personal matters with each other? No!

Coparenting basically refers to a business arrangement. You and your ex wife or ex-husband are in business together. The business is raising your children together in a joint custody arrangement. Your conversations should not be about:

  • personal matters
  • old marital issues

They should stick to the topic of your business - your mutual children.

Think about business relationships you have at work. You may not like the people you're dealing with, but you act civilly in order to conduct the business at hand. This is what I’m referring to.

I'm aware that some of you may be thinking, "This is impossible!". You may have been really hurt by your ex. He/she may have done some horrible things and you don’t think he/she deserves the time of day from you.

You know what? You may be right. However, who wins if you continue to fight with them? Do you? Does your ex spouse? Do your children? (By the way, the answer to all of those questions is “NO!”).

Why fuel a fight with someone you're no longer be married to? Why allow them to take up that much of your energy, thoughts and time? Why allow their behaviors to cause you to act in ways that will ultimately harm your children?

I know this is easier said than done. However, for your sake and that of your children, recognize that this person will be a "family member" for life. You are connected to them no matter what because you are co parenting together.

The least you can do for your own sanity is to focus on being able to get along with them. I encourage you to handle your end of the co parenting business with integrity and to the best of your ability.

If you're looking for other ideas for co parenting successfully, I'd like to encourage you to learn more about our Tip of the Week newsletter. Every Friday your tip will include:

  • a featured article loaded with helpful tips to effectively guide you in living beyond divorce toward a successful remarriage and step family
  • access to resources which will support you in your journey
  • updates about what's going on in the site as well as our online community

Additional Single Parent Articles:

Help for Single Parents: Are You Single Parenting Solo?

Single Parenting: Help for Single Parents in Getting Back to "Normal"

Help for Single Parents: Accepting Changes When Single Parenting

Successful Coparenting for Divorced Parents

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