5 of the Most Common Blended Family Problems

Today, let’s take a look at 5 of the most common blended family problems and mistakes. We've all seen people doing them. Maybe we've even done a few ourselves. Knowing these common problems and mistakes can help you to prevent them or stop them in their tracks. Doing this will help you build a stronger and healthier step family.

Assuming everyone’s traditions will be the same – This is usually one of those “big shockers” for step families. Most of us assume that everyone spends their holidays the same ways we do. WRONG!! 

• It’s essential that blended families discuss how different traditions - from the big holidays to just how the weekends - should be spent.
• All of us have different ideas about these. When they aren’t discussed and people feel like they are forced to follow someone else’s mold, you can count on an argument and eventually the common blended family problem of resentment.

Treating all the kids the same – As parents you and your partner may have very different parenting styles. While this won't guarantee a blended family problem, it may make things more difficult when you combine your families. The problem begins happening when parents start making DRASTIC changes after they remarry. This will cause anger and resentment from your kids toward your new spouse. The kids aren’t stupid. They know that this new step parent is influencing the changes. 

• The better option is to SLOWLY start making those changes BEFORE the wedding.


• That way after the “I do’s”, the parenting styles are similar and easier to manage as everyone comes together into one home.

Assuming the family will function just like a nuclear family – These kids already have 2 parents. They are not looking for a third. The members of this family have not all known each other since birth so the relationships are NOT even.

• Embrace the differences and understand them so you don’t set yourself up for the blended family problem of disappointment when your fantasy of a “Leave it To Beaver” family doesn’t happen.
• Learn how to create a new definition of family success.

• Give everyone time to adjust before you throw more changes into the loop with trying to combine families.
• Rushing things for you adds the blended family problem of a weak marriage into the mix.

Pushing and forcing the relationship between a step parent and children – If pushed, they will pull back. Understand their need to feel safe before allowing this new person in. Respect this need and just be present.

• Let the kids set the pace for how deep and close they want the relationship with their step parent to be.
• They really are in control of the relationship. If they don't want to accept your new spouse, there's not a lot you can do about this.

If you're ready to achieve a step family success, I want to invite you to learn more about blended family problems and how to avoid them!

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