Anger Management:
Letting Go of Anger After Divorce
Divorce anger is normal. The problem lies in not having a solid anger management plan. Holding on to that anger like a security blanket is not your goal. Letting go of anger is.
How many of us know a bitter divorcee? You know what I’m talking about. Those divorced parents who can’t mention their ex wife or ex-husband's name without ranting. They bring up their ex spouse's name in every conversation just to have another opportunity to vent about how mad they are. Got the picture? Of course you do.
Today, let’s focus on 3 reasons why refusing to create an individualized anger managment plan for
letting go of anger
is not a good choice for you or your children.
1. It hurts your children – Your children love both of you very much. That hasn't changed just because the two of you chose to divorce.
Children are very adept at knowing when their parents are fighting even when you try to hide it. When these two people they love are at odds, it becomes very confusing for them. Kids can’t make sense of why it's happening. This confusion can lead to anxiety. In response to that anxiety, a lot of kids will begin to focus on becoming a peacemaker between their parents rather than just be a kid.
2. It imprisons you in the past - This is anger about a relationship that is not in your future, it is only in your past. You may be co parenting with your ex wife or ex-husband and have a connection to them in that way, but you are no longer romantically linked.
Not letting go of anger keeps you focused on what could or should have been. With the demise of any marriage, there are broken dreams.
Not having an anger management plan keeps you focused on only the bad things that happened in the relationship. When you are this angry, you only focus on things that continue to fuel that divorce anger. It’s as if we have glasses on with a lens that filters out any happy times in order to continue feeding that anger.
3. Ultimately, this level of divorce anger doesn’t allow you to move forward - Without an anger management plan, you aren’t able to focus on the possibilities that lie ahead of you. All you can see are aspects of that past relationship.
Not letting go of anger also causes you to
hold on to the pain
from that broken relationship. That pain becomes extra baggage you carry around with you wherever you go. Think about it, would you be interested in going on a date with someone who spends the evening complaining about his/her ex wife or ex-husband?
Is it wrong to be angry? No! Anger is an emotion felt without our control. The way we react to the emotion such as blowing up, or choosing to wallow in it is completely in our control!
You have a choice to make:
Will you begin creating your
anger management plan
now so you can let go of anger and move forward, or continue hurting yourself and those around you?
Additional Divorce Anger Articles:
The Top 3 Reasons for Coping with Divorce Anger
Letting Go of Anger: It's Time
Don't Waste Your Life on Divorce Anger
Divorce Revenge: How to Let it Go and Move Forward
But don't just read what I have to say about anger after divorce.
Share your own stories and read what others have shared.
Return to Home Page
|
